Cybersafety: Finding Balance and Building Responsibility

Author: Rick Phelan
Published: 04.24.13

Cybersafety Portable tablets and smartphones are increasing children’s access to online content at home and at school. These smaller, more private devices are harder for parents and educators to monitor and manage, resulting in mixed feelings about technology. On one hand, adults want children to have access to thousands of excellent online resources and tools. On the other hand, they recognize the dark side of technology — cyberbullying, inappropriate content, and social isolation.

Acknowledging concerns, parents and educators need to offer children direction. Starting points to guide children’s access to technology involve sharing ideas about respect, being smart, and knowing about ethics.

Respect

Children need to learn the importance of respectful online interactions. Respect in cyberspace can follow ideas on what it means to be respectful in face-to-face interactions: listen, take turns, don’t make fun of people, say please and thank you, don’t swear.

As children grow older, they should understand the limitations of electronic communication: we make choices about how we express ourselves and need to choose appropriate channels. Posts, tweets, and texts can be misunderstood. Face-to-face communication is frequently a better choice for sensitive or emotionally charged topics.

Parents and schools should also provide lessons on empathy and impulse control. Adults should talk with children about receiving negative or critical electronic messages such as, “I hate you” or “You’re fat.” How would it feel to receive such a message? Children should be encouraged to pause and ask themselves about sending a negative electronic message. Could they say the same thing to a person’s face? If the answer is no, the message should not be sent.

Being Smart

Being smart in cyberspace involves both media literacy and maturity. To cultivate these areas, parents and educators can discuss myths, legends, and tall tales. By connecting these ideas with electronic media, students learn that not all things they see and read online are true.

As children age, they need to understand propaganda techniques and ask questions about the motivations and purposes behind a given media. Countless opportunities are available to question ads during family television viewing. Take advantage of the moment.

Children should also develop an early understanding of their “digital footprint.” Messages sent in cyberspace can be forwarded and passed along to hundreds and thousands of other people – and there is no eraser button.

Young people should also learn to evaluate messages they might send electronically. If a questionable message is forwarded to a mother, teacher, employer, or judge, could their message be misunderstood? If the answer is yes, the message should not be sent.

Finally children should be taught the importance of talking to an adult whenever they encounter something that scares them or makes them feel uncomfortable in cyberspace.

Ethics

Ethical use of technology involves trust. To ensure understanding, adults need to have conversations with children about their activities in cyberspace. Times of use and areas of use are starting points.

Children need to clearly understand what’s expected of them. Schools often express their rules in “acceptable use policies,” but these policies are generally not written in student-friendly language. It is a good idea for schools to share rules and expectations in a manner that is clearly understandable to students at different age ranges.

As students age, some parents establish contracts with their children specific to technology. Agreements with young people generally consider the following areas:

Open access to parents (no passwords)
Technology will not be used to lie, fool, or deceive another human being
Technology will not be involved in conversations that are hurtful to others
No pornography
Technology is controlled by people; it does not control you
Cell phone/tablets are turned over to parents at an agreed upon time at the end of a day

Supporting these agreements, parents should have regular conversations with their children. Some of these conversations should involve checking-in on what’s happening in a young person’s “virtual world.” Topics may include time spent online, social interactions, and balancing academics with entertainment. Finally, adults should model appropriate behaviors using technology. Being present to people in one’s immediate surroundings and obeying laws are good places to start.